So you hear it from me and not through the grapevine.

Today, we made the difficult decision to break up. First boyfriend, first break up. The only thing I know how to do is reason with myself and write, besides eating gobs of chocolate and rocking in a corner crying. Break up. I hate those words. Like a shattered vase, that you can’t glue back together. We knew we’d face this tough decision sooner or later.. and I had always hoped that we could ignore it forever. There is no way a relationship can work when what you want in life is on a different path, no matter how much you love each other. I thought about this a few years ago, and we both chose to ignore it then. I want a family, he doesn’t. We tried to prepare for this, but no one can prepare you for this. I keep wishing I’d wake up from this nightmare, but it’s real and my heart aches. All I can think of is how I can’t hold his hand, kiss his face, schnuggle him, and occasionally dutch oven him. It took us almost a year to get together, and 3.5 years later, it’s over. I feel so lost without him, wandering/wallowing in my pit/cloud of tears and despair. My silver lining is that we are and will remain friends. Thank you for an amazing 3.5 years, Ryan. Thanks for being my best friend. I don’t really know how this works.. I don’t know if I’ll ever really get over it, but I’ll try my best to not be a crazy person. I might cry with no notice. Just a warning…

Also bitches, stay away from him.. He’s a good one; I will cut you.


About stealthypoo

twenty-something foodie
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7 Responses to Toast

  1. Caryn says:

    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Breakups are difficult. I am so proud of you – You are so strong and brave to follow your heart. It gets easier and just know that you are surrounded by so many people who love and support you. Take this time to do a little soul searching and rediscover who you are as an individual.Hang in there. So much love, Caryn

  2. I love how even though you’re heartbroken you’re still funny. And listen to Caryn — and me — it is incredibly hard but you will definitely make it through. And what you need will come to you. You just have to heal first.

    Besides, look at me: I lost my job and my boyfriend in the same year and aside from the occasional :(s, I’m fine. And that’s saying something ’cause I hold onto stuff like it’s the last package of Chips Ahoy! at Walmart.

    You will make it through. Now it’s time to focus on you and going after what you need and want.

    See you soon.

    ((( <3 )))

  3. Breakups are difficult. Here for you if you need an ear or a shoulder or even dinner that isn’t made at home home. Sasha and Sergio cuddles await.

  4. Pingback: Wine and Love v10 | Poo Corner: Adventures of Hungry Monster

  5. All the hugs and love, lady. I’m sorry.

  6. Breakups are rough, for sure. It’s good that you’re looking at the long-term stuff; things will definitely get better.

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