foot in mouth: somebody’s watchin’ me.. oh wait nm.

For those of you who know me (read: ALL of you who read this ), you probably know that I absolutely love “Kash”, the googley-eyed stack of money you could be saving with Geico. Those ads stare back. At first, I didn’t get it, but now it’s one of those “it’s so damn ridiculous, it’s awesome.”

Anyways, shortly after taking this photo, we came across another one of these billboards near the Russian Hill area. And, yes, I can’t help humming that song. But this time, instead of humming, I whispered to @milktoast, “He’s watching me…,” just as two people shuffled by.

And you probably guessed it.. One was blind and using a walking stick, while the other person was holding onto his arm.

I don’t know why I’m allowed to talk.

foot in mouth: hey fatty.

I’ve walked by this statue, probably over 10 times at least. Never once, have I commented on it. Oh, but of course, the day that I do comment, saying something along the lines of, “OMG it’s huge!!”, a very heavy-set woman (oh, to add the cherry on the top, she was in a wheelchair) happened to be sitting RIGHT next to the sea lion statue.

I think Milktoast almost kicked me a yard away to avoid the angry glares.. almost. Just kidding, he didn’t. He just gave me the look of “SHUTUP” and hurried us away.

I was reminded of this lovely story because today I was eating a fatty ass shrimp rice noodle wrap and was trying unsuccessfully to flip it over to get soy sauce on both sides.. My weak plastic fork was flimsy against the weight of the noodle. Sometimes, I feel like that noodle after eating a bigass meal. That thing was like a beached whale! And for those of you who’ve known me forever, I’ve always been sensitive about weight issues and things like that. Never skinny.. always a little hefty. My mom would call me “大隻” — which roughly translates to big-boned, but it’s always been the “if only you lost *this* much weight…” Anyways, I definitely didn’t mean to offend, and really hope that she didn’t hear me..

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foot in mouth: hey shorty, welcome to the lollipop guild

A good month or two ago, the bf and I were walking along down the street to who knows where. He randomly started humming the lollipop guild song from The Wizard of Oz. If you don’t recall, here’s a clip of the munchkins.

Once he stopped humming the song, of course, it decided to plant itself into my head. So of course, I decide to start humming it out loud, just as we walk closer and closer to this extremely short man.

I then stop. I hope he didn’t notice. Woops

The Missing Piece…

I know it has been a while since my last post. Luckily, I found a job at the end of March, but since then I’ve been neglecting the blog. It’s been a little over a month, and I’m slowly getting situated. I don’t LOVE it, but I don’t hate it either. It is what it is. They wouldn’t call it a job or work if it was just absolutely fun. ;P And it is definitely, not that. It’s alright. They’ve been keeping busy and on my toes, but the social aspect of it all isn’t as fulfilling. I have one lunch buddy, and I think everyone else is just happy with their own group. Ah wells, such is high school, er wait.., and work apparently. ;P The coworkers are nice, the boss is alright (or so it seems.. I’ve yet to figure out everyone.) I will survive.

So outside of work, friends, bf, and fam, I feel like something is missing. I’m looking for my missing piece. Have you seen it? I’m not sure what it looks like, if it makes any noise, or if it is looking for me, but it is, in no better terms, missing. Did I lose it? I’m not quite sure. I always felt stuck at my previous job, but now I don’t feel the same here. During the 7 months of funemployment, I was able to job search as well as explore the City and really appreciate it. Now that that is over, something is still lacking! I don’t have enough hobbies, mayhaps? Should I join a book club? Gym? Take underwater basket-weaving classes? Find volunteer opportunities? — Ohh! Cooking classes!! — Of course, it must remain within reasonable budget. Shoot your ideas this way, and if anyone is up for classes/ other activities, please let me know! I think the boy would appreciate my focusing on other interests. *smother smother*

And yes, hanging out with friends, the bf, and watching Lost, are already being done. Traveling (ie. long trips are out of the question, as I have a 6 month probationary period where I can’t take vacay.) Traveling over the weekend – definitely would love that idea. So, who’s in?

daiso.. ichiban kan.. apaato!

The two stores for all the things you never had or knew you needed, but would go absolutely fabulous with everything you owned, or will come to own. My recent urge to shop (see previous post), doesn’t just stop with my own clothes/shoes. No, there’s also chopsticks, soup spoons, and probably a dish-rack for the certain somebody who doesn’t own these necessities. Yeah, beats me. (At least he now owns a rice cooker.. next step.. buy rice!)

I’m sure we’ll be making the Daiso/Ichiban Kan/Target runs soon. After scouring craigslist for jobs and apartments, we found the boy an apartment. Pooray!! It all began one morning, when I walked into the bathroom, and stepped into a rusty colored rain-soaked bath mat. I found myself a new mission (which was completed in 9 days).. yeah, if only I could find a job so easily.

I never disliked his place. In fact, I’d have to say, I liked it the moment I saw it (kinda like the boy). Ok, you can stop gagging now — ANYWAYS, his place is spacious, and it’s really not bad, but then it started raining heavily. The rain leakage wasn’t the only problem, although none of it really bothered me much (ie. one cat pee closet, random building power outages, poor building management), but I knew it was time because A) It’s ridiculous to overpay for a place like that and B) Feeling a dirty wet bathmat squish under your toes– NOT a good surprise in the morning. Which reminds me that I also stepped into a pile of dustbunnies once, but I won’t get into that.

I had to refrain from buying chopsticks and soup spoons the last time I was at Ichiban Kan, but once the boy is done moving, I’m so going a little crazy at Daiso, Ichiban Kan, and/or Target. *squee* Clothes and shoes will have to wait, but necessities is a must!!

We all have urges…

And I am dying to shop.

I haven’t gone shopping in so long, I just want to buy buy buy! Of course, there is no justification for it when I have no job. To scratch the itch, I did buy a pair of slouch boots on sale at Nordstrom Rack for $45, after getting my temp job in San Leandro. I also rolled up into the parking lot of San Leandro’s Thrift Town after consulting the always fashionable, shopper extraordinaire, Mary F. (she wrote that review in my honor), and left with a $6 strapless dress.

Unfortunately, those two purchases didn’t satiate the need, and when I wasn’t perusing the intarwebs for a job, I was either a) apartment hunting for the boy or b) scouring zappos and various other retail sites. I’m so proud that I passed up the friends & family discount I received for Gap/BR/Piperlime this weekend. *Gives self pat on back* Thank god, I always feel the need to try things on before swiping the plastic.. er, or entering my cc#. I do have that number memorized though.. yikes.

Now, I just need to either stay away from stores, or buy something so expensive it’ll keep me from buying more… jk! At least I’m looking for things on sale, right?

P.S. No, I didn’t purchase the cheap fake poo at amazon.. ;P

stink link!

Poo for SALE!

Yes, that’s poo for sale.. $0.49 + change (courtesy of fatwallet.com). What a deal! It’s not like I can go and get poo from my own backyard — or toilet… Oh wait, I have a dog! I also have an ass. Here’s a better deal: I can send you poo for free.. well, plus shipping. ;P

Interviewing skillz, or the lack there of.

I’m so frustrated with myself. I probably just botched my chances for an HR job, that I am clearly qualified for. I just don’t do well with any type of interviews. The weird thing is that I was able to handle myself well for another HR job phone screen this morning, but I just got so flustered and nervous for this last one. It makes having to find a job that much more annoying. I hate me, right now!

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